I SWEAR THAT I CAN SEE FOREVER IN YOUR EYES

I'll take the subway to your suburb sometime.
Super Furry Animals: Hometown Unicorn

Taking a cue from Ned Raggett, I thought I'd atone for my recent silence (here anyway -- lots of me over at Pitchfork in recent days) with a look through the archives. I've written plenty of horrible but possibly interesting stuff, plus some other things that hopefully don't suck too much.

- Ben Folds: Songs for Silverman review, Pitchfork
I'm still getting called out for this one. I don't think it was that bad if you're part of the (admittedly small) audience that knows what "OTM" means, though I do wish I'd made it clearer how much I love and respect Folds' earlier work.

- The Boy Least Likely To: The Best Party Ever review, Pitchfork
My first Best New Music. If you throw a light on something magical, it doesn't have to disappear.

- Bees: Free the Bees review, Pitchfork
During my five-review trial period, I wrote this concept review about concept reviews. Somehow I was not fired. Somehow the site still exists.

- Joan of Arc: Presents: Guitar Duets review, Pitchfork
No wait, here's a concept review about concept reviews. Sheesh.

- Hercules: In the Alleyway review, Pitchfork
Terribly written, and the reference points I use could be refined a lot further, but this is one of the first records I really got behind for Pitchfork. It's still one that people would do well to check out.

- Depeche Mode: Remixes 81-04 review, Pitchfork
Far and away the most embarrassing thing I've written for Pitchfork. I didn't enjoy spending a weekend listening to this Depeche Mode remix double-album, and maybe I still wouldn't, but I'm not sure how you'd read this review and not come away with the impression that my problem with the album was largely my own ignorance.

- The Streets: A Grand Don't Come for Free review, PopMatters
OK, so it's a bit juvenile in retrospect, but I still credit this review for getting me in the door at Pitchfork.

- "Elliott Smith: A Fond Farewell" essay, PopMatters
I like Elliott Smith.

- "Failure Is Victory" post, Whopundit
I dug up here and in other posts an extensive listing of instances where Administration officials said that things turning shitty in Iraq was really a sign that things were turning awesome. Obviously, I was wrong and George W. Bush has been proved right by history, which is why all the major print and TV pundits not named Paul Krugman are people who were still pro-war even at the time I was writing this.

- "Sbarro Opens to Hungry Mouths, Excitement" quote in the Daily Northwestern
I convinced a well-meaning Daily reporter to rush into print a rave review that could potentially damage my credibility. I was, of course, joking.


This has of course nothing to do with anything.
Deerhunter: Fluorescent Grey (live at South Street Seaport)

So that's that for now. Some stuff is better left in the archives-- and will stay there until John Mayer and Kanye West meld into some kind of unassailable Super Frat Boy, laying waste to every lowly music scribe in his/their media-blitzing path and, if I get to the Emerald City before midnight, bestowing upon me both heat vision and the power to erase memory. (Kevin Spacey is the killer.)

P.S. Rap blogger Byron Crawford: Heroic, Lou Dobbs-esque warrior against "political correctness"... or a guy who gets really excited about Tucker Carlson's pee-pee and any chance to talk shit about gay people? Seriously, this is the political issue Crawford thinks is worth taking a break from music to blog about? A debate from last week about whether or not some spoiled preppy who only has his millions-paying job because of his daddy deserves to get publicly castigated for acting like a spoiled preppy?